Choosing Friends Wisely: From Bank To Bankruptcy

I have a friend, who I've known for a long time. For the sake of concealing identities, I will identify her in today's blog post as 'Princess.'

My friend is smart and funny, and makes a great first impression. There's just one thing about her that makes it a good thing we don't hang out much anymore. She spends money like water.

I think she has it to spend, BUT. I don't know how much she saves. I'm sure she would tell you she takes full advantage of shopping the sales. Whether or not those shopping trips are necessary? Well, that's another story.

Her wardrobe and jewelry? Second to none. Purses and shoes? Beautiful. House? Large and well furnished. Both she and her husband drive expensive cars (but, 'they're not brand new.'). As an added bonus, Princess can justify every single purchase.

What's the biggest danger in having a friend like Princess? You can be perfectly content and happy with your lot in life. Spend a little time with royalty, and slowly, quietly, almost undetectably.......you start to want the same things.

Your purse was perfectly fine until you went out to lunch with Princess. Then, right before your eyes, that same handbag had several flaws that made you start thinking about replacing it. With something 3 times more expensive.

Your little house is cozy and furnished just the way you like it. Until you pay a visit to Princess. All of a sudden, YOU want state of the art surround sound, the latest coffee maker, and art work that cost a hair more than the 'starving artist' special that graces your couch. Having a cleaning lady like Princess starts to sound pretty darn attractive, too.

Just having a converation with Princess can be revealing. Almost every single sentence is punctuated with what she wants to buy next. How she's going to redo her bedroom, again. Her next vacation (never mind the last one was a month ago). She's warm and witty and smells really good, so why WOULDN'T your brain be beguiled into thinking these whims of hers could be replicated in your own life?

SNAP OUT OF IT, THRIFTNERD!!

We know life is more than possessions and constant shopping at the mall. We have dreams and goals that require us to be frugal with our funds. I'm not saying get rid of Princess as a friend, but you might want to limit the time you spend with her. Instead, seek out those who have similar finances and spend accordingly. It's like when you're watching your weight. You don't want to go out to eat regularly with folks who consume 3 times their body weight in food at one sitting. It's better to nosh on veggies and fruit with friends who are as serious about weight loss as you are. They are good examples for you.

Here's an example from my own life: my brother and his family live out in the country (way, WAY out). They are homeschoolers and survivalists. Their lives revolve around gardening, canning, raising livestock, and saving as much money as possible. Guess what kind of friends they hang out with? Folks with the same interests and pursuits. It just makes sense. They recently started buying rental property, and fixing it up to become landlords. You can bet, they'll make friends with those who are also rental property owners.

So, send Princess a Christmas card. See her when she comes into town, and do the same when you travel her way. But, before you do, give yourself a reality check.

Don't be blinded by the bling.

What Not To Wear: Good Sense Behind The Snark

Top: Clinton and Stacy deal with a guest's unfortunate 'before' wardrobe in the dreaded '360'

Bottom: Clinton and Stacy's shock over another successful transformation

Ever watch "What Not To Wear?" The popular program enjoyed a 10 year run (2003-2013) on TLC. Hosts Clinton Kelly and Stacy London, both fashion insiders, took ordinary folks badly in need of makeovers and totally transformed them. Friends and family members nominated loved ones who gave their all to everyone else, but placed themselves at the bottom of the priority list, for a $5000 shopping spree, hairstyle and makeup sesh. I watched regularly, and had several loved ones in mind that I wanted desperately to nominate. I couldn't do it, as it was often humiliating to watch.

Reality TV being what it is, Clinton and Stacy would surprise their intended 'victim' in a public setting, then proceed to drag out several weeks of secret tapes, showing the absolute worst of the poor person's wardrobe faux pas. Cringing yet? How about when they flew the guest out to NYC with their old wardrobe, then made them hang it all up, model it, listen while they criticized it, and threw everything into a garbage can? Tears were often the next step along THAT crimson path.

The show then followed the guest as they attempted to spend the $5000 on a completely new, flattering wardrobe. Often, they were unable to remember all the new guidelines set down for shopping, so the second day Clinton and Stacy showed up to help. They got everything tailored, their hair did and their face painted, and VIOLA! Absolute perfection! They proudly modeled several new outfits, much to the happy gasps and exclamations from Clinton and Stacy. The show's crowning touch was a huge reveal before friends and family at a restaurant or other big venue. Where once they were on display in shame, now they shine like a fashionable star.

Happily ever after? Well, if they remember the rules that Clinton and Stacy set before them, yes.

Now, I realize watching people be humiliated by snarky hosts isn't everyone's cup of tea. I don't appreciate that kind of entertainment, as I am a highly empathetic person, and can't help but put myself in the victim/guest's shoes. However, I saw enough of Clinton and Stacy's true colors to see that the show had tremendous merit. In real life, they are humble, sweet folks, with enough baggage of their own to keep their egos in check. Stacy, in particular, wrote a wonderful book (The Truth About Style, 2013) in which she transparently revealed her struggles with eating and skin disorders. They both genuinely want to help others put their best foot forward, fashion wise.

So, what can we, the unwashed masses, take from 'What Not To Wear?' Personally, the show was the eye opener I needed to start making more of an effort with my appearance. For years, I had been your basic 'jeans and t-shirt' gal (often overalls.......that makes my daughter shudder), and I needed to step things up a tad. Nothing wrong with jeans or t-shirts, you understand, but everything has it's time and place. Dressing up a bit, I found folks took me more seriously. There is such a thing as comfortable AND pulled together, and I now have outfits that can be worn in a variety of different situations.....and be perfectly appropriate in all.

Granted, the clothing bought on 'What Not To Wear' was expensive, often designer, and the show's guests were treated to custom tailoring on all wardrobe items, making each fit like a glove. I took what I learned from the show, and applied it to my thrift and discount store shopping. I learned that you can never underestimate the power of the proper underwear (all hail a correctly sized and fitted bra!) Plus, I learned that even ordinary folks can take advantage of a tailor or expert seamstress! These are things I never would have known had I not watched the show. Knowing to buy something in a bigger size than I normally wear, and having a tailor custom fit to my body, was a revelation.

Nothing would make Clinton and Stacy happier, than to know their tips for 'what not to wear' were implemented by the folks at home :)

Coincidence?

Goodwill is starting to get picked clean.

At first, I thought it was a fluke. I went a couple times, and couldn't find a thing. That happens occasionally. But, to have it happen 2 times in a row was weird. Then, Claire and I went together. Same thing. Both of us found small items, but still, it was very odd not to find goodies like we usually do. Everything left in the store seemed........tired. You know, like you'd find at a THRIFT STORE :X.

Today, I went to another Goodwill. One that (usually) has a higher percentage of designer goods and high end stuff. Same thing......old, out of date, yuck.

It may sound egotistical, but I think you guys are listening. I think you're thrifting more and more, and that's why the shelves are empty. Hey, it's as good a reason as any, right?

Just remember to donate what you don't need anymore. Erin and Claire need some successful resale shopping therapy.

Toiletries Of The Aging Thriftnerd: Toothcare

Are you tired of this series yet? Well, good news! Today's our final installment! I would probably be more timely, if I didn't have to work for a living :P

Taking care of your teeth in a frugal manner is almost 100% preventative. In other words, you need to head off dental problems before they show up. Most of the time, you can.

I have two kids, and they both got the exact same dental care growing up. Brendan has never had a cavity, and his teeth are perfectly straight, naturally. Claire has had cavities her whole life, did the $4000 round of braces, and wears a mouth guard at night for TMJ. She takes better care of her teeth, and yet, this recent trip to the dentist revealed 3 more cavities. Sigh.

Well, when you grow up with absolutely no dental problems, you tend to get a bit lazy. Kind of like growing up without a weight problem: you eat what you want with no fear of repercussions.

Brendan had to pay the piper this past year. After several years of no dental appointments, he went to a new dentist in Canton, only to find out he had periodontal disease, which necessitated painful scraping under his gums and a prescription rinse, all to the tune of over $900. Ouch. Of course, this happened before he was eligible for dental care through his employer. Having had quite a scare, Brendan must now floss, brush and rinse well every single day, and schedule regular dental appointments, for the rest of his life. We got him a very nice electric toothbrush for Christmas.

Claire must ALSO floss, brush and rinse well every single day, just to keep her problematic teeth from getting worse. No traisping off to bed with unbrushed teeth for either one of my precious gems.

We all know flossing is a pain, but neglecting to do so results in even bigger pain! I didn't start flossing regularly myself, until I was in my late 30's and going through a divorce. I had always had dental insurance and regular dental care throughout my childhood and first marriage, but facing the possiblity of not being insured when I became single, I started flossing every night. It has made a huge difference, and I know the problems I HAVE had could have been worse had I not been so diligent.

Both Crest and Colgate have come out with new toothpaste and rinse combos. Far from being just another marketing scheme, they really work! Dentists can tell if you use the rinse, paste and floss routine! Another integral part of good toothcare: get yourself an electric toothbrush! You don't have to go all out and buy the $100 plus models; the $5-on up disposables really pack a punch. They are great for ridding your teeth of plaque.

How long should you brush? Two minutes at least. Pay attention especially to the backsides of your very last tooth on both upper and lowers. They do the most work chewing, and because they are so hard to reach, they get neglected, and more often than not, they're the teeth that get infected and pulled. If you have an electric toothbrush, they are especially effective in getting those hard to reach teeth.

Ok, so we've covered the basics. Now, what about whitening? You've asked at a very good time! At home whitening kits are effective and much cheaper than the dentist's version, which can run $500 and up. An average of $30 is what you might spend for the DIY kits. I've used them twice, and they are great! They don't taste all that great, but it's a temporary thing........2 weeks of daily whitening treatments can yield almost a year of pearly white teeth.

Doing as much preventative care as possible can eliminate a lot of dental problems. However, like with Claire, sometimes your best just isn't good enough. Unfortunately, you can't shop around for cheap dental care that's also good. Our family had several bad experiences with a dental chain that supposedly saved us money, but the care was dangerous and substandard. Ask around for a good, caring dentist. Also, look into dental insurance if you can. That monthly investment will pay off when it's needed (just ask Brendan!).

So, to sum up today's blog:

Never go to bed with unbrushed teeth!
Always floss daily (at least once a day)
Use the floss, brush, rinse 3 step punch!
Blow everyone away with your DIY whites!
Ask around for a good dentist, and utlize dental insurance if you can.

And, smile, darn it!

The High Price Of Athletic Shoes

These are my brand new New Balance workout shoes. Paying for them ticked me off.

I have looked for months for a brand new pair of workout shoes second hand. They ARE to be had. I have seen and bought them in the past. This time, however, that fabulous deal eluded me. So, I resorted to shopping for a brand new pair on the clearance rack.

I found these lovely green and turquoise beauties at Meijer for $34.50. They were regularly priced at $69. SIXTY NINE DOLLARS!!! Why? Will they also wash my car and do my laundry?

I learned about 5 years ago that New Balance work the best with my feet. So, that's the brand I buy. It's honestly better than buying a no name brand with no cushioning or support. My last pair of NB not only wore like iron, but they also washed in numerous bleach loads and came back looking spotless. Even when I started wearing them to the shop.

So, if I were to be completely honest with myself, I would do the math. Say I bought that last pair for $50. I wore them every day to work for several years. That results in about 96 cents per week, for at least a year. Since I had them longer than that, the outlay went down even more. Ok, that helps.

I guess it's that initial shock of paying so much upfront, and that's why I try hard to find name brand goods second hand. If your kid runs track, you wouldn't believe the like new pairs of cleats I see at Goodwill every single time I go.

I know I run the risk of losing a good deal of my readers when I talk about second hand shoes. There's a real 'ick' factor involved for some folks. Here's what I do: buying name brand, good quality shoes at a thrift store, means I can take them home and run them through a scalding hot, bleach load in my washer. Superior quality ensures that they will come out perfectly fine. Added bonus? You paid $4.99 for them resale, so you can afford to play a little laundry roulette.

When I buy anything second hand, I am beyond thorough when checking them out. Seeing how much wear there is, checking out the inside to make sure everything is still stitched and where it belongs. Making sure the soles aren't sloped (huge sign of too much wear).

It seems to be much easier to find heels or other kinds of footwear second hand. People tend to hang onto their athletic shoes longer. However, like I said, I have found great deals. Brands I otherwise wouldn't have been able to afford, like that fabulous pair of K-Swiss back when Claire was a baby. I loved those things right to the garbage can.

I am just getting back into working out, 4 months after my hysterectomy. These brand new NBs won't do the work for me, but they'll sure help.

At $34.50, if I wear them at least 5 times a week, their final financial outlay will be mere pennies :)

Being A Packrat Pays Off

I am not a immaculate homemaker. We don't have corn growing in the dust in the corners of the house, but we also have 7 pets, so some days it's a total wash as I chase hairballs around, and clean up cat vomit. We need to replace our living room furniture, as our baby kitties endlessly 'christened' it, and we can't seem to get it cleaned. Needless to say, I don't judge others for their housekeeping skills, or lack thereof.

Clutter drives me bat crap crazy, but I do have my stacks lying around. Sometimes it's nothing more than garbage that needed to be recycled a looooong time ago, but other stacks are necessary (FAFSA prep for Claire is staring me in the face. KNOCK THAT OFF!).

And then, there's my blessed hubby's stacks. And stacks. And STACKS.

We have a full garage and basement. Michael never throws anything away if he doesn't have to. While I'm not enamored of the heaps, I have been shown time and time again that keeping things can pay off big sometimes.

Case in point: I gave Michael a new, large crockpot for Christmas. Earlier this week, I accidently knocked the lid off the counter, and shattered the plastic knob. Boy, was I steamed. Crockpot replacement lids can often run as much $$$ as a crockpot!

Michael came downstairs to see what all the hollering and stomping around was about. Immediately a plan started forming in his brain. He ran out to his workbench in the garage, and came back with an extra kitchen knob, from when we remodeled the kitchen years ago. I had no idea we had extras!

He brought the knob to work, bored out the hole, scavanged up the necessary inner workings, and VOILA! A crockpot lid that once again functions in it's intended role. All for free, thanks to a resourceful husband who is handier than anything. And, never throws anything away.

By the way, I was warned that, if I dropped the lid THIS time, the heavy replacement knob would shatter the lid. In other words, be careful, wife!

In closing, I need to issue a disclaimer over yesterday's 'haircare' addition of the blog. Our mission statement is always to show folks how to do it for less, NOT to give the impression that we have it all together and are all that. We know we aren't the be all end all last word in thrift. We just want to share our experiences :)

Toiletries Of The Aging Thriftnerd: Haircare

I left the 'aging' in the today's blog post title, but we'll do a bit of talking about my dear daughter's hair, too, and she's nowhere near aging!

You know how the older generation just loves to say, 'back in my day!' or, 'you guys have NO idea how good you have it!' Well, I can honestly say this applies to haircare. In the almost 50 years of my life, I have seen such changes, particularly in the area of home haircolor and conditioning. Where once we had to strictly rely on going to a salon for top quality products, now we can often find just as good product over the counter.

That being said, I will start this off by saying, NOTHING will replace a good haircut. There are many ways to save money, but if you want to look current and stay on top of those pesky split ends, do yourself a favor and find a great hairstylist, and quit crying over the cost. Hey, if it's so easy to do, CUT YOUR OWN!

Then, Instagram the results. Snort.

If you want healthy hair, you need to take care of it. You need to keep it trimmed. You need the proper shampoo and conditioner for your hair type. You need the right brush. And, you need to make sure you're using the right haircolor and treatments. It's worth taking the extra time to do your research and make sure you're buying the right stuff. The payoff? Beautiful, lustrous locks.

I used to use whatever I could find in the way of brushes and combs. One was as good as another, right? Actually, no. Especially since my hair is color treated, I needed to find a brush that was gentle. The boar bristle brushes are truly kind to your hair. So, are the brushes with widely spaced bristles. You want to eliminate the chance of snagging and breaking your precious strands, so choose wisely. I also use a special comb made just for combing out wet hair after shampooing. Just using those two tools have made a huge difference in the quality of my hair.

After shampooing, I do very little blow drying. Color treated and dry, my hair needs every break I can give it. I only blow dry my crown and bangs, using a round, natural bristled styling brush. I dry it to the 'just damp' stage. I also only wash my hair two times a week. It's amazing, as we age, how little we need to cleanse those follicles!

If you're my age, I recommend a hairstyle that takes minimal heat styling. The first day after I shampoo, I do the whole 9 yards as far as straightening and curling. Then, on the days after that, my style needs very little upkeep. I have long layers that hold their shape nicely. I will wash my hair tonight, but this morning, as I was getting ready for work, I bent over, touseled my hair with my fingers, smoothed it out a bit, and sprayed it. I use Elnett spray, which at $13.99 is NOT a bargain price, but it is gentle on my hair, doesn't feel sticky, yet holds exactly as I like it. I consider that a bargain!

As far as shampoo and conditioner, I like the Pantene line a lot. I use the Pantene Intense Moisture conditioner. For shampoo, Sally Beauty has their ION line of products, and I'm using their Intense Moisture shampoo. L'Oreal does a great job of putting coupons in the Sunday paper for their products, so I can always find one when I'm needing Pantene. I belong to the Sally Beauty Club, which for $5 a year, I get discounts every time I buy something, not to mention emails and special gifts. We seem to be going to Sally more and more, as Claire will be starting cosmetology school in a less than a year (ZOINKS!) and she's always wanting to check out the makeup and haircare products. She uses the Biotera line for shampoo and conditioner. At $6.99 and $10.99, Sally's shampoos and conditioners are much less than the usual salon product, yet are just as superior.

I have been coloring my hair since high school. I remember being a freshman, and having my mom pull my hair through those little bitty holes in the color cap when I wanted 'frosted' waves. Oh, the pain we endured! When I was a senior, I decided I had had enough of my ashy, mousy brown haircolor, and asked my mom to make me a blonde! I have been 'augmenting' my haircolor ever since. In the old days, when you colored your own hair, the consistency was like that of a Barbie's hair.....strange and stiff. Going to have my hair professionally highlighted eliminated that, but it was also much pricier. I paid as high as $150 for professional highlights (ah, the good old days???).

During my divorce, I could no longer get my hair colored professionally, so good ol' mom came to my rescue. I started using L'oreal Preference, and it's truly a superior product. One box every 3-4 weeks keeps my roots in good shape. Because I use blonde, it's unnecessary to color my whole head, and it's much easier on my ends when I don't. Blonde doesn't fade like other colors, and even though it's not peroxide based, it's still harsh on my hair, so not coloring my whole head helps a great deal. You can also coat your ends in conditioner when you color, for extra protection.

After coloring, I try to wait at least 4 days before shampooing.

My darling Claire seems to be following in mom's footsteps, as far as coloring her hair in high school, but she goes for sexy, vixen red! The L'Oreal Feria Intense color every 4 weeks does the trick. Red DOES fade, so for that added oomph, we do Claire's whole head (yes, I color it, I'm paying it forward from my mom!). Since she still has oily hair, she must wash it every night, but she waits at least 2 days before washing after applying color. She also watches the heat styling, often opting for free, natural waves, or putting it up into a cute topknot. You can get away with that when you're young :P

Both Claire and I receive compliments on our color, so we must be doing something right! I don't claim to be an expert, but after a lifetime of playing around and finding the right products for my 'do, I think I've finally nailed it. Claire wears her hair very long, but she swears by regular trims to get rid of the crispy split ends. Especially after a play or musical, where she must subject her hair to nightly torture sessions with 1000's of bobby pins and about a ton of Aquanet!

I am looking forward to my darling daughter's foray into cosmetology. I'm sure we will both benefit from some added, professional advice!