Choosing Friends Wisely: From Bank To Bankruptcy

I have a friend, who I've known for a long time. For the sake of concealing identities, I will identify her in today's blog post as 'Princess.'

My friend is smart and funny, and makes a great first impression. There's just one thing about her that makes it a good thing we don't hang out much anymore. She spends money like water.

I think she has it to spend, BUT. I don't know how much she saves. I'm sure she would tell you she takes full advantage of shopping the sales. Whether or not those shopping trips are necessary? Well, that's another story.

Her wardrobe and jewelry? Second to none. Purses and shoes? Beautiful. House? Large and well furnished. Both she and her husband drive expensive cars (but, 'they're not brand new.'). As an added bonus, Princess can justify every single purchase.

What's the biggest danger in having a friend like Princess? You can be perfectly content and happy with your lot in life. Spend a little time with royalty, and slowly, quietly, almost undetectably.......you start to want the same things.

Your purse was perfectly fine until you went out to lunch with Princess. Then, right before your eyes, that same handbag had several flaws that made you start thinking about replacing it. With something 3 times more expensive.

Your little house is cozy and furnished just the way you like it. Until you pay a visit to Princess. All of a sudden, YOU want state of the art surround sound, the latest coffee maker, and art work that cost a hair more than the 'starving artist' special that graces your couch. Having a cleaning lady like Princess starts to sound pretty darn attractive, too.

Just having a converation with Princess can be revealing. Almost every single sentence is punctuated with what she wants to buy next. How she's going to redo her bedroom, again. Her next vacation (never mind the last one was a month ago). She's warm and witty and smells really good, so why WOULDN'T your brain be beguiled into thinking these whims of hers could be replicated in your own life?

SNAP OUT OF IT, THRIFTNERD!!

We know life is more than possessions and constant shopping at the mall. We have dreams and goals that require us to be frugal with our funds. I'm not saying get rid of Princess as a friend, but you might want to limit the time you spend with her. Instead, seek out those who have similar finances and spend accordingly. It's like when you're watching your weight. You don't want to go out to eat regularly with folks who consume 3 times their body weight in food at one sitting. It's better to nosh on veggies and fruit with friends who are as serious about weight loss as you are. They are good examples for you.

Here's an example from my own life: my brother and his family live out in the country (way, WAY out). They are homeschoolers and survivalists. Their lives revolve around gardening, canning, raising livestock, and saving as much money as possible. Guess what kind of friends they hang out with? Folks with the same interests and pursuits. It just makes sense. They recently started buying rental property, and fixing it up to become landlords. You can bet, they'll make friends with those who are also rental property owners.

So, send Princess a Christmas card. See her when she comes into town, and do the same when you travel her way. But, before you do, give yourself a reality check.

Don't be blinded by the bling.

What Not To Wear: Good Sense Behind The Snark

Top: Clinton and Stacy deal with a guest's unfortunate 'before' wardrobe in the dreaded '360'

Bottom: Clinton and Stacy's shock over another successful transformation

Ever watch "What Not To Wear?" The popular program enjoyed a 10 year run (2003-2013) on TLC. Hosts Clinton Kelly and Stacy London, both fashion insiders, took ordinary folks badly in need of makeovers and totally transformed them. Friends and family members nominated loved ones who gave their all to everyone else, but placed themselves at the bottom of the priority list, for a $5000 shopping spree, hairstyle and makeup sesh. I watched regularly, and had several loved ones in mind that I wanted desperately to nominate. I couldn't do it, as it was often humiliating to watch.

Reality TV being what it is, Clinton and Stacy would surprise their intended 'victim' in a public setting, then proceed to drag out several weeks of secret tapes, showing the absolute worst of the poor person's wardrobe faux pas. Cringing yet? How about when they flew the guest out to NYC with their old wardrobe, then made them hang it all up, model it, listen while they criticized it, and threw everything into a garbage can? Tears were often the next step along THAT crimson path.

The show then followed the guest as they attempted to spend the $5000 on a completely new, flattering wardrobe. Often, they were unable to remember all the new guidelines set down for shopping, so the second day Clinton and Stacy showed up to help. They got everything tailored, their hair did and their face painted, and VIOLA! Absolute perfection! They proudly modeled several new outfits, much to the happy gasps and exclamations from Clinton and Stacy. The show's crowning touch was a huge reveal before friends and family at a restaurant or other big venue. Where once they were on display in shame, now they shine like a fashionable star.

Happily ever after? Well, if they remember the rules that Clinton and Stacy set before them, yes.

Now, I realize watching people be humiliated by snarky hosts isn't everyone's cup of tea. I don't appreciate that kind of entertainment, as I am a highly empathetic person, and can't help but put myself in the victim/guest's shoes. However, I saw enough of Clinton and Stacy's true colors to see that the show had tremendous merit. In real life, they are humble, sweet folks, with enough baggage of their own to keep their egos in check. Stacy, in particular, wrote a wonderful book (The Truth About Style, 2013) in which she transparently revealed her struggles with eating and skin disorders. They both genuinely want to help others put their best foot forward, fashion wise.

So, what can we, the unwashed masses, take from 'What Not To Wear?' Personally, the show was the eye opener I needed to start making more of an effort with my appearance. For years, I had been your basic 'jeans and t-shirt' gal (often overalls.......that makes my daughter shudder), and I needed to step things up a tad. Nothing wrong with jeans or t-shirts, you understand, but everything has it's time and place. Dressing up a bit, I found folks took me more seriously. There is such a thing as comfortable AND pulled together, and I now have outfits that can be worn in a variety of different situations.....and be perfectly appropriate in all.

Granted, the clothing bought on 'What Not To Wear' was expensive, often designer, and the show's guests were treated to custom tailoring on all wardrobe items, making each fit like a glove. I took what I learned from the show, and applied it to my thrift and discount store shopping. I learned that you can never underestimate the power of the proper underwear (all hail a correctly sized and fitted bra!) Plus, I learned that even ordinary folks can take advantage of a tailor or expert seamstress! These are things I never would have known had I not watched the show. Knowing to buy something in a bigger size than I normally wear, and having a tailor custom fit to my body, was a revelation.

Nothing would make Clinton and Stacy happier, than to know their tips for 'what not to wear' were implemented by the folks at home :)