I know I have posted about this before, but it bears repeating. A LOT. Seems daily I hear 'I can't afford that!'
Now, this can be a legitimate statement. If you live close to the poverty line, you truly can't afford things. I'm not talking to those folks at all. The rest of us need to change our wording.
It takes awareness of priorities.
I'll use Michael and I as an example. We have two older cars. Michael drives a 2004 Dodge Ram, and I have a 2002 Honda Accord. Both vehicles were paid for in cash, and bought used. They're fabulous vehicles, but they're getting up there in years and mileage. Should someone say, 'you're needing to buy new cars,' it would be an easy, pat answer to retort, 'we can't afford new cars!'
In reality, we probably can, BUT. Our priorities lie in a different area. We are more concerned with getting our last kiddo graduated, and pay off some medical bills. We're still trying to get things situated after my lengthy time off for surgery. We don't have the cash on hand to buy new vehicles, and we're lacking the room in the budget for car payments, at this time. So, we take extra good care of the car and truck, and maybe someday, we'll be in better shape financially to replace them.
Do you see what I just did? I owned up. Instead of copping the 'we can't afford it.'
It shouldn't be such an issue with me, but it is. I guess it's because I hear far too many people whine and complain about not being able to 'afford' things, and then doing something like taking a tropical cruise. Buying an expensive car. Building a McMansion. All the while, crabbing about having to buy groceries for their kids, or pay for them to go to a certain school, or just basically providing what a parent needs to provide.
I'm pretty sure I'm not speaking to a majority of you, but there may be a few who need to step back, and own up.
So, if you find yourself getting upset about paying for the basics of life, yet go out to eat often, buy designer goods at full price, and spend every spring break someplace warm........be honest.
You can afford it. It's a question of priorities.
I try really hard to avoid "can't afford it" phrasing in my life too. Especially in front of my kids. We do live check to check, but we are working diligently to pay off debt and get out of that pattern. Frequently my kids will ask for something and even though the reality is that we "can't afford it" I don't want to give them the impression that the only reason we don't buy it is because of money. We don't buy much fast food; partly because of the expense, but also because it's not healthy. We don't buy new toys all the time. Partly because of the expense, but also because my kids have plenty of stuff already and they don't have room for more.
ReplyDeleteI want my kids to have a healthy relationship with money and to know how it works. I don't want their lives to revolve around how much money we have.
Teresa at The BlogDare recommended your blog. I'm glad I stopped by!
I'm at http://thelieberfamily.com because I think I'm a no-reply commenter because of G+)
Hi Rabia! Thank you for your post! As with any part of conscious parenting, it takes more time to live and speak by example, instead of just spouting pat answers like 'we can't afford it,' but it is so worth it long term. You are a good example to your kids! I will definitely stop by your blog, Teresa did me a huge solid by getting my blog out there!! Thanks again, Rabia!
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