Today is my 8th wedding anniversary. Michael and I may not have been married very long, but we have known each other 34 years, having met as neighbors and classmates in 1979. To me, he's still the same tall, cute president of FFA in the cowboy hat. What a hottie <3
I didn't make the decision to marry Michael lightly. I was a underweight, scared of my own shadow, single mama of two equally scared kids. We had way too much baggage from my first marriage. I didn't ever EVER want to get married again. The national percentages don't help........50% of first marriages fail, 67% of second and 74% of third. Divorce was absolutely the worst experience of my entire life, and with those scary statistics, why would I want to take a chance again?
Because I couldn't live without this man. Michael can be a hearts and flowers kind of guy, but his specialty is practical things.......bringing sacks of groceries and cooking meals for us when I had nothing. Sacrificing to give me money for a moving van when I was court ordered to be out of my house and I had no way to move. Taking Brendan and Claire out to pizza and the park so I could have a 'girl's night' with my mom. Fixing my van, storing my stuff......and making me fall hopelessly in love. I honestly couldn't help myself.
When you're young, and it's your first marriage, you often have a lot of preconceived notions of what wedded bliss truly is. Boy, are you wrong. Day to day life leaves little time for the 'white lace and promises' of romantic fiction and the movies. Cars break down, finances gnaw at you, job pressure and the fun of in law issues can really wreak havoc on a young relationship. When you remarry, you're a little wiser (well, you should be, but remember those statistics!). When Michael and I tied the knot, we blended not only our possessions but 4 kids and interesting financial histories. Both of us unfortunately brought our prior romantic histories, too. We learned quickly we couldn't judge each other by the disappointments of the past. We needed to learn from each other's strengths, provide refuge from the weaknesses, and make a more successful life together.
I must be honest and tell you this: if you don't have God in your life, I don't give you much chance of having a successful marriage. As much and Michael and I have in common, we are still 2 very different people, and if we didn't have the advantage of being able to pray together and put the Lord first in our marriage, we wouldn't have the relationship we have today. Heartaches and happy times should be prayed about together. The stress of trying to blend our families could easily break us apart if we didn't have the Lord as the glue to keep us close. When you put Him first, you look at your problems and differences as lessons to learn from, not instances to contribute to another heartbreaking divorce.
In addition, Michael has taught me TONS about being a frugal person with common sense. Since we don't make much money, we learn to live with what we have and fix and reuse as much as possible. My husband is a MASTER at this. He has made being a packrat an art form. 9 times out of 10, what we need we have on hand. There are very rare times when Michael can't fix something. We have continually been amazed at his skill and knowledge. What he doesn't know, he researches on the internet. He also teaches us how to maintain what we have.......whether it be our cars or our kitchen utensils. He works fast and well. No lolly-gagging, no goofing off........if it needs to be done, do it quickly and go on to the next thing. Together we've built a backyard fence, laid ceramic tile over much of our first floor and the kids' bathroom, painted, put together furniture, built stone walls in the garden, you name it. We clean well together, and when he makes his fabulous culinary creations, I clean up the kitchen.
It ain't perfect. We have our disagreements, and sometimes they're fiery. Where I used to be a doormat, now I don't put up with ANYTHING, so we butt heads. The fights are fewer and far between the longer we're married, thankfully. We've learned each other's rhythms and ways of doing things. Michael is a man of few words and doesn't like social situations, while I have an easier time talking to people. Michael observes and sees things I don't. He's taught me it's better to use 3 well placed words than 20 jumbled ones. We play well off of each other. This is an especially good thing since we also work together.
So, as we celebrate 8 years of being married, we can look back and see just how far we've come, and be grateful for the good as well as the bad. Both have made us grow......individually, together and closer to the Lord.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I just heard Michael clear his throat. That's code for 'come help me wait on this customer!'
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