You're buying your kid WHAT?!
Last night, Claire found she had a Thespian meeting this morning at 8am, in town at Tim Horton's. I told her I could get her there on my way to work, but she'd need to find a ride home. Most of her friends have their own cars (shocker). After texting 5 friends, she did indeed find a ride home. Whew.
This scenario plays out an awful lot at our house. I work, and I do the best I can making sure Claire has a ride to and from her many extracurricular activities. Sometimes, I just can't do it. 9 times out of 10, she has a friend who can do her a solid and take/bring her home. I also go out of my way to return the favor.
I have posted before about our house rule regarding cars. If you have a job, and save up enough money, you may buy and have your own car. You will also be paying for your own gas. Nothing makes a kid mature faster than making them responsible for their own bills. They also take better care of their stuff.
I know Claire has friends who have been given a car because they must share responsibility for picking up siblings and running errands for the household. That is a great arrangement. Again, the kid is learning that life is a two way street, and in order to get the things they want, they must in turn help out for the good of the others at home.
When Brendan started working, he was able to graduate from a Trac Fone to a real cell with a real cell plan. That's also the way we roll at our house. I'm not responsible for making sure my kids have the top of the line phone. Because Brendan learned this early, he is very punctual paying his bills. He also saved up his money and bought his first car. He bought his own gas, and paid his own car insurance. Nothing gives you a reality check faster than having these responsibilities.
Because Claire is very involved with school, she knows she probably won't be able to work during her senior year. So, unless some benevolent relative or friend comes bearing a vehicle (haha), she will be buying her first car with graduation money. Waiting is hard, but she's come to terms with it.
How? Frankly, I don't know. It is so hard to maintain perspective when you are surrounded by friends who have parents that give their kids EVERYTHING. Her high school parking lot is filled with kids' cars. A lot of her classmates take for granted they will given a car and insurance when they get their license. They also take for granted Mom and Dad will be there with their credit card for top of the line clothing, prom dresses, spring break vacations, and concerts. None of these are bad by themselves, but if a kid knows he can whine and apply the guilt to get what he wants? THAT'S bad.
So last night, when we were discussing Claire's ride options, I made a comment about her being the only one needing to find transportation because everyone else had a car. Her response? 'I would rather have the kind of relationship I have with you, than a car. A lot of my friends don't have good relationships with their parents.'
You can't buy a good relationship with your daughter by plunking down a credit card <3
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