Are You A Good Gift Giver?

Well, are you?

Is your point of view, 'I really don't have the money to buy nice gifts.'  So, you don't.  Or, you procrastinate until the last minute and throw money you don't have at the issue, stressing you out even more, and maybe missing the mark entirely?

It doesn't have to be this way.  As with everything else, you need VISION, and you need to plan ahead.  Oh yes, and you need to be a good listener.

Let's tackle the vision thing first.  You walk into a store and see a really good deal.  You think, how would this look in MY home?  In my mom's home?  How about Aunt Mabel's?  Can you vision it in any of the 3?  Then, get it!  It's a good price and you may not find it elsewhere for the same $$$.  And it may be gone if you wait to get it there.

Having vision allows you to see the object in it's intended destination, and then you'll know if it's a good deal or not.  Aunt Mabel may HATE the Swarvoski crystal candlesticks, but she'll be all over that Dale Earnhardt cookie jar.

That leads me to my next point: are you good a listener?  If you are, you'll remember that every time you get together, Aunt Mabel talks your ear off about how much she LUVS Dale Earnhardt.  So, when you see that cookie jar, you'll remember her devotion and know that buying it will be money well spent.  Plus, she'll brag about you to all her friends.

It doesn't take that much effort to really LISTEN to people, but lots don't, so that's why we have such huge miscommunication in our culture.  Why else do women who want jewelry get power tools for Christmas?  I love the Sears commercial out right now, where the husband is running frantically through the store, looking for 'Jack,' his toddler.........he was all set to get his woman that power drill, but Jack found the display of beautiful earrings.........way to go, Jack!  I forsee a long, happy gift buying life in his future :)

My husband Michael is THE PREMIER GIFT GIVER.  This isn't idle praise (just in time for the holidays).  Why is he so good?  Because he LISTENS!  He listens to every word that comes out of my mouth, and he doesn't even act like he's listening (guy would make a perfect spy.).  When we were first together, we would go to a store, and I would ramble on while looking at items and say, 'oh, I love that!' and 'isn't this great?'  Then I would promptly forget what I said, and Michael would hot foot it back to the store and get me exactly what I wanted.  Blew my mind!  Seems easy, doesn't it?  Then why do so many people have such an issue with it?

 

My mom is also a FABULOUS GIFT GIVER.  Every birthday and Christmas, she asks for a detailed list from each of us, and then she gets us EXACTLY what we want.  She doesn't have an  unlimited gift budget, so she wants to make sure she hits the mark.   She remembers that Brendan loves Nutella (he gets it in his stocking at her house!) and that Claire loves earrings.  She has no problem giving gift cards to exactly where the kids shop, because she knows that will be appreciated.  She wears silver jewelry, but knows I wear gold, so when she finds gold jewelry guess who benefits?  She gets 'freebies' from Coldwater Creek and just this week gave me a beautiful 'ruby' and gold bracelet she received when she attended a CC special event.  Isn't it purdy?

You don't have to spend a lot of money to please everyone on your list.  A gift card to a favorite store can be as small as $5, yet mean the world.  There is also NOTHING WRONG with buying a gift at a thrift or antique store!  I would be THRILLED if one of my family members got me a piece of jewelry from Goodwill or the antique mall downtown, because it would mean they LISTEN and know I shop there anyway.  You would also be amazed at how many brand new, IN THE PACKAGE items there are second hand.  I find more packs of stationery note cards for as little as .50 at Goodwill.  Those suckers can be $5 and up!

My last point?  Plan ahead.  Start to think a month or two before the event.  Making a list is an easy way to do it.  When Michael followed me through Walmart back in the Fall of '05, he noted that I said I liked the under cabinet kitchen stereo, and the Black Forest cuckoo clock.  He could have said, 'It's only October.  Why should I make note of this now?'  Or, he could have blown me off and not listened at all.  Instead, I got two really wonderful presents on Christmas morning that blew my mind, all because my husband planned ahead and cared enough to listen.  Believe me, I learned from his example!  When he made an idle comment a couple years ago about wanting a Dremel, I made a mental note, and that's what he got for Christmas last year.  Boy, was he thrilled!  I was ecstatic too, because instead of just grabbing something off the shelf that could miss the mark entirely, I got him exactly what he wanted........because I listened.

How does this all fit on a blog where I write about frugal finds?  Being a caring gift giver can be a frugal art.  Buying something that you have no idea will be appreciated is NOT frugal.  It isn't money well spent, no matter how great the sale was.  Grabbing an ugly piece of clearanced jewelry for $2 isn't frugal, since the receiver will probably throw up in their mouth when they unwrap it.  Nausea is never a good gift to give :P.