My (recently turned) 21 yr old son, Brendan, is leaving me in 3 weeks. Moving on to bigger and better things 9 hours away, in Columbia, South Carolina. He's never lived away from home before, and he's using his dad's Malibu to move, so taking furniture is out of the question. Friends are giving him some furniture when he gets there, but what he takes from home? Not a whole bunch.
As a lot of kids his age, he's a computer guy, so of course the bulk of his personal effects are a couple computers and monitors. A TV. A DVD player. A record player, that we got him for Christmas two years ago. His clothes and shoes. Pillows and blankets.
Saturday, Brendan and I went shopping for some needed household items. The doting mama in me wanted desperately to buy him everything I saw........everything that fit MY vision of what he needed to start life by himself. I can't go with him, I can't help get him settled, so there's a fierce feeling of wanting everything to be ok, a touch of home.
Taking a deep breath, I realized Brendan's kitchen needs are very small, at least right now. The kid eats Ramen, so I got him a teapot. He loves to make fried egg sandwiches, so I got him a skillet for the stove, and a spatula. His favorite glasses here at home are the huge plastic ones in candy colors the grocery store sells every spring with their barbeque accesories. He's being given plates and silverware, so at this stage of life? He's set.
I told Brendan my gifts come with an added bonus: when he get the job of his dreams and makes more money, he has my permission to buy new stuff. I won't be hurt when the teapot (it's decorated with flowers) gets replaced by an industrially streamlined model. That's more Brendan's speed, anyway. My stuff is just to get him to that point. He can get the 10 piece nonstick cookware set when he's ready to set the world on fire as the next Rachael Ray :P
My gifts also came from Goodwil (except for the plastic drinking glasses: they're brand new). I've been taking Brendan thrift shopping since he was 2, but it was still an eye opener for him, when he realized how much you can buy second hand. Music to a financially struggling young man's ears. I told him to always, ALWAYS check thrift stores and the dollar store first, when he needs something. Why pay more than you have to, especially when you don't have it to begin with? He's receiving bath towels, kitchen towels, hot pads and a bath rug as gifts (brand new), but you can also find fabulous deals on linens second hand.
I won't have a cow should Brendan accidently burn out the water in the teakettle; it can be replaced. I might have an issue if I'd gone competely nuts and outfitted him in top of the line, brand new household goods for his first place. Lots of parents do that, ya know. As with everything else, we need to quit being heliocopters. How else will they learn?
Buying these items for Brendan doesn't make his impending move any easier on ol' mom. I am going to miss him very much.
But.......his kitchen will be propertly equipped XD
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